And then I turned the page and found a very early draft of Bellows! I laughed out loud reading this, it's so bad, but hey, I was twelve. Hopefully I don't write like this anymore!
I'm typing on my ipad and the keyboard can be sort of sketch so bare (bear?) with me. Stupid homonyms. Homophones? Argh.
Okay so here goes. Try not to cringe. I'm going to make comments on it because I'm me and too talkative not to:
Chapter 1: The Letter (not much has changed there)
I don't know what I was expecting that morning. Probably waking up, brushing my teeth, taking a shower, eating breakfast, getting the mail, and watching T.V. (Try saying that in one breath. I guess I used to brush before showering. That's weird) Well, I did wake up, brushed my teeth, took a shower, and ate. When I got the mail I was expecting bills and crap for my parents, that's when I saw it a light purple/lavenderish colored (well my descriptions haven't changed :P) envelope. It was decorated with gold, and it had a red seal on it. Why would I care about it? It was addressed to me. I never get mail! So here I am standing in front of my door staring at the envelope. Even weirder it didn't have a sender. I carefully opened the letter, and read it. (This grammar and writing pains me).
Dear Quinn Prelutsky (That's worse than Siliver)
We at Bellows Academy are proud to invite you to come to Bellows Academy (Very blunt). Bellows Academy is a fine boarding school for young wizards boys and girls. We understand you are now twelve and would like to join us here at Bellows Academy! (What is this fuckery? Ivonovich would never sound excited about new students) Your parent/guardian should drive you to the bus stop. (you don't need directions you will know it's the right bus stop). Start going north and keep going. (That sounds like a fantastic April Fools joke...I might do that to a Potterhead)
~Headmistress Alfea Garvagash (ooh that's worse than Prelutsky AND Ivonovich. No wonder she's too perky to be Ivonovich).
She scribbled out a word that I could barely make out. I have no idea what it says. Whatever! Who cares! (Well she is twelve). I just got accepted to a boarding school! That means I can leave small Redwood! (what a creative name for a town)
I sat down on the couch staring at the envelope. First, my expression was excited, then, it quickly changed to bewildered. (Cause she can see her face...) I never applied to a boarding school. Wait a minute, you don't apply to boarding schools do you? I've never heard of Bellows Acadamy (Wow. & I was the kid that won like all of our spelling bees in the third grade)! And how in the world did they know I was twelve? I kept reviewing these questions in my head and I couldn't make sense of them. Finally, I got up and took the stairs at a time and dashed into my room.
I got to my computer and shook the mouse furiously. I got onto the internet and searched "Bellows Academy"
There was a link to a website, I clicked it and waited for it to load. There was a list of teachers I skimmed through it, Miss Sanchez, Mr. Michaelson, Miss Rose etc. (Look real names!) At the bottom of the page there was another link, I clicked on it. It was a list of supplies. Weird ones like, waterlilies, fox tail, and hawk feathers, the weirdest one was fur of a centaur (THAT SOUNDS REALLY SUSPICIOUS AND CULT-ISH MUF--I MEAN QUINN). This must be the wrong site. (Right, right). I sighed why couldn't leaving Redwood be enough? (Cause you could be going to your death). I have to have answers!
I stayed in my room pretty much the whole day. All I did was stare at the letter. This is weird. Weirder than weird (I love how fantastic my descriptions are). Besides why would I be invited to a boarding school? I haven't had any major acadmeic or athletic achievements! (I! Love! Exclaiming! Things!) Why should I be suspicious? (I can spell achievements and suspicious but not Academy? I'm done) Yea, maybe I'm just being a little paranoid. I'll tell my parents about it tomorrow. I pulled on my p.j.'s and climbed into bed. (WHERE ARE MR. & MRS. PRELUTSKY? lmao why Prelutsky???)
The next morning was normal. No mail on Sundays (throws shit in the air. I'm done). I tied my black hair back and stared at myself in the mirror, practicing for when I tell my parents. (YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT IT'S NOT THAT SERIOUS. Oh god. TNS is this bad isn't it. I'm so done) I tried to get my blue eyes (well that's new) really big and pout. My parents are all about being together. So they might not let me go. (you're going? when was this decided??) The whole pouting thing hasn't worked since I was five so I'll just have to cross my fingers and hope it works.
(The only thing I'm going to edit is the dialogue not all being in one huge paragraph. That's a headache waiting to happen) "Arizona? Too hot! What's in Arizona anyway?"
"The Grand Canyon. Was your idea?"
"Jamaica!" (Are you guys rolling in cash?)
"Mom? Dad? I have to ask you guys something." I said innocently. (eww I suck) The envelope was behind my back.
"Yes, what is it Quinn?" (my handwritten questionmarks look weird. Also, I actually really like the name Quinn even though it's sort of nerdy sounding)
"Well, I got invited to a boarding school called Bellows Academy." (are your eyes bleeding? Cause mine are).
"Never heard of it." My mom remarked. Of course not.
"Oh well I was wondering if I could go."
"A boarding school?" My mom said unsure. (Jeez even in this version the mom wears the pants in the relationship. Speak up, Mr. P)
"I think it would be a wonderful experience. What kind of parents would we be if we didn't let our daughter experience things in life to the fullest?" (you're really unconcerned with the fact that none of you have heard of it...)
"Absolutely!"
"So that's a yes?" I asked. (Absolutely sounds a lot like no to me -___-)
"Yes!" They replied in unison. (that's sort of creepy). That was way easier than I expected.
On August 31st we headed north. I wasn't exactly sure how I'd know if it was the right bus stop. But I guess I'd know. I was sitting in the backseat of our Volkswagon (sexy. Hah I think that was the only car I knew the name of when iwas twelve) I was carrying an over the shoulder backpack that was filled with stuff. (Stuff like chainsaws or stuff like nuncuks...?) I packed two root beers (two, you daredevil) and a bag of chips. I had a magazine, a picture of my parents (my mom packed that one) (so that you can look at them before you go to your death? I mean you're going to some creepy boarding school you know nothing about with an undefined location THAT SCREAMS PSCYHO MOVIE), CD player (does this look like the 90's? c'mon), flashlight (again mom), stationary for writing letters to my parents (cause email is clearly a concept lost on all of them), a blanket, candy, a tuna sandwhich, a notebook (in case I run out of staionary, my mom's acting like I'm going away for five years) and a sweat shirt. That was in my packpack. I had two suitcases filled with clothes and stuff. (that list was so great. It really contributed to the plot. I think i preferred stuff. kill me please)
Now I know what she meant I'd know the bust stop. There was a big sign that said (cause signs can talk you know): BELLOWS ACADAMY BUS STOP!!! "Here! Drop me off here."
I almost wish there was more. Almost. Lol that was so awful. If I had a big ego before, it has been deflated. Trust me. God that was awful. Sorry if I overdid it with the comments. There were a few more but I didn't want to overwhelm, the story does that by itself.
Ha okay well I'm done beating myself up. & now I need to figure out a way to fend for myself without my mom's laptop...unless she ends up not taking it. But I'm pretty sure she packed it :/
Comment here or on my message board, whichever is easiest. (anon comments are welcome on the blog) I'd like to hear what you thought. You already know my thoughts...
*snicker* Redwood is the name of a city up north. Well, Redwood city is the official name because *gasp* it's near the redwoods aka Sequoias!
ReplyDeleteThere's my useless tidbit for you.