Spotlight

So you may or may not be wondering how spotlight went. Aside from the fact that I was sweating balls and nearly had a heart attack, it was fine. Leading up to it, I was convinced I was going to die of cardiac arrest. This other girl who is litearally amazing, she breaks at every single tournament (meaning she makes it to finals or honor finals). She was like just as nervous as I was. She was actually shaking. And she did it last year. So it made me feel a little bit better that I wasn't the noob about to have a heart attack.

The best part is that there was a huge class of sophomores right in the middle of the theater in the first three rows.

Two people were before me.

Now, my speech is sort of boring (I'm in like the most boring category in Speech) so I had to follow a Drama and a Humorous.

Someone was actually slumped in their seat with their eyes closed...

As I was told by my friend, when I was walking up to the stage, I looked like I really didn't want to do this (which I didn't). But when I stepped up on that 'x' and started, I was completely fine. I made eye contact with people I knew. I slipped on like one or two words, but otherwise I thought I was fine.

When I got off stage however, Mr. Speech Teacher went up to announce the next person, he kind of made a face when he said good job. So I was like, dear god that was awful.

Still not sure on how I did. I mean people are going to say good job no matter what. I could have completely choked for like two minutes and people still would have. (Which I didn't. So proud of myself. I was like literally fine nerve-wise. I'm just not sure how I was speech-wise. Even my own coach gave me an unconvincing thumbs up).

& then we had spotlight at night too for everyone. & my mom came to watch me. I was actually quite terrible in my Great Speeches because part of me was just like, I'm done with this shit. Then when I went to do my other category, I also wasn't very into it so it was like one of the worst times I've ever done it. After I walked out at that one, I was like "Oh that was horrible," expecting my mom to reassure that I was fine (I know, I know).

She didn't.

Instead she commented on how the last girl (which just so happened to be the girl who was nervous/was after me for spotlight) was really good.

Today, I have a revisions practice. Where we will fix my speech, and I need to remember all these changes I made and stuff. Oy.

Anyways. Not excited. Hopefully it will fix my speech, but I'm half-afraid they're all going to be like, God you are terrible.


Okay. Well adios, need to get ready. *sigh*